So I was thinking this morning about this last year and how fast it seems to have gone. I can't believe that so much has happened, but I feel like I didn't even get the chance to rope it in and feel it breeze past me. So here I am, needed some closure with the year and feeling a little nostalgic. It was an exciting new beginning, but it faded quickly. How do I sum it all up? I experienced life and new beginnings, but a lot of death, too, that seemed to just mix in and out. I've had a long losing streak with a few golden touches. Let me explain.
A year ago I was starting my new job, learning again how to sleep at night, and had just moved into a cramped apartment. I've been brought together with friends and family in strange ways this year; three occasions of marriage and life, and two by death. I had to say goodbye to people that I didn't think I'd have to for a long time; I also met some people that I will never forget and have a deeper connection to because what's happened. I've experienced being poor like I never have before with no food in the refrigerator and seeing our breath cloud up in front of our faces as we sat in our apartment. I found out how to be rich in other things in life, like enjoying small moments and not letting myself forget them. I met a man that quickly became my best friend and so much more than I would have ever expected. I've seen new sights and life's beauty at it's finest, I've floated around at the top and been sinking at the bottom. It's been a year filled with ups and down, growth, and finding strength that I didn't know I had.
I've gained new perspectives on life and seen things through brand new eyes. I've learned a lot about myself realized that growing and progress never completely stop, they just sometimes change directions and take more time. A lot more time. If could have a conversation with myself with last year's Katie, I wouldn't even know what she'd to say to me. I think she would be disappointed in a lot of ways, mostly because I'm not anywhere near where I thought I'd be. I'm not even on the right continent. She'd be angry at me and tell me I wasted time, but eventually she'd forgive me. I'd share my same disappointments with her, but show her how much progress I've made personally. I'd like to think that if I explained myself and told her about the other things God wanted me to experience, that she would hopefully be more understanding. I wonder what she would change if she knew what was coming, if anything. She's always tended to take the more difficult path over an easy one, anyway.
For now, I'm still paying off bills and debts, but I see progress and new beginnings. I have a lot more doors open to me and life is beautful! A few months back I applied for an internship in Bundestag, Germany and let it slip from my mind. I received and email last night about it being accepted, so I'm looking a little more into it and continuing onto the second application process. I'll give more details later on. I also started looking at visas and plane tickets again for going to Australia, because that's still a thing. They seem a lot more affordable than I thought before. I just need to stay focused and continuing planning for what's to come. Saving is just so hard when I only make enough to pay bills and fix my car. I should probably get a second job. Alright, I need to get ready for my highly skilled and complicated cashier job now. ;)
Until then, bless my restless bones and wandering feet
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
But What Do I Know, Anyway?
Just a couple of things I've learned and am still learning about having a meaningful relationship. This is mostly just for me, but maybe someone else will get something out of it, too.
1. When you start out, don't sleep together right away--invest your emotions in each other and find your compatibility in your personalities and character outside of the bedroom first
2. Apologize for the little things, it can go a long way for the other person
3. Be humble enough to apologize, even if you may be right
4. Don't be the one that always has the answers and never any questions
5. It's a two way street, so share the decision making and ditch the "my way or the highway" mentality, because no, you're not always right
6. Know when you're wrong and admit it to the other person
7. Ask deeper questions to discover who they were, who they are, and want to become. Realize that there are things that you won't want to hear
9. Be patient and forgive each other and then stop counting
10. Do your best to not compare yourself to previous relationships; there's a reason why it didn't work out and why they're with you instead.
11. Know the difference of needing to trying harder and when you're trying too hard. Know when it's over.
12. Don't spend all of your time alone, make time for friends and family
13. Take the time to re-discover yourself as an individual when you start morphing into one person together
14. Accept change in the other person and realize that you might have to change, too
15. Spend time apart so you have the chance to miss each other
16. Don't compromise your morals and standards--some will change over time, some will not
17. Make sacrifices for each other, even if it means putting off things that you want to do
18. Go on adventures together
19. Encourage and build each other up
20. Love each other fiercely and indefinitely
But what do I know, anyway?
Until then, bless my restless bones and wandering feet
1. When you start out, don't sleep together right away--invest your emotions in each other and find your compatibility in your personalities and character outside of the bedroom first
2. Apologize for the little things, it can go a long way for the other person
3. Be humble enough to apologize, even if you may be right
4. Don't be the one that always has the answers and never any questions
5. It's a two way street, so share the decision making and ditch the "my way or the highway" mentality, because no, you're not always right
6. Know when you're wrong and admit it to the other person
7. Ask deeper questions to discover who they were, who they are, and want to become. Realize that there are things that you won't want to hear
9. Be patient and forgive each other and then stop counting
10. Do your best to not compare yourself to previous relationships; there's a reason why it didn't work out and why they're with you instead.
11. Know the difference of needing to trying harder and when you're trying too hard. Know when it's over.
12. Don't spend all of your time alone, make time for friends and family
13. Take the time to re-discover yourself as an individual when you start morphing into one person together
14. Accept change in the other person and realize that you might have to change, too
15. Spend time apart so you have the chance to miss each other
16. Don't compromise your morals and standards--some will change over time, some will not
17. Make sacrifices for each other, even if it means putting off things that you want to do
18. Go on adventures together
19. Encourage and build each other up
20. Love each other fiercely and indefinitely
But what do I know, anyway?
Until then, bless my restless bones and wandering feet
Friday, September 13, 2013
Itchy Feet
Something I've always loved, even as a young girl, has been leaving my warm bed to escape from the everyday familiarity. There's just something so serene and adventurous about the dawn that I can't quite find the words for. Running away with myself becomes oddly romantic when I get to slip out the door into the cool, dark morning while the rest of the world sleeps on. I speed away as the sun tries to catch up to my tires and flood the earth with its light.
You know when you see fog hovering over a grassy field with just enough light to make it seem eerie and beautiful all at once? So many times I've wanted to pull my car over and lose myself somewhere in it. If I were to run through the middle, I wonder if there would be an opening from where my body broke through, or maybe it would be so impenetrable that my path would disappear right along with me. Maybe it would be both. I'd like to think that I could change the outcome according to how I feel. If my small body could made a difference in something so dense; if it could create a void in the mist, then there would at least be some sort of proof that I'd been there. Maybe someone would see it and wonder. At the same time I would be just as content to not leave any trace of my existence in the fog. It can be comforting to be able to disappear into solitude knowing that you truly are alone.
Until then, bless my restless bones and wandering feet
You know when you see fog hovering over a grassy field with just enough light to make it seem eerie and beautiful all at once? So many times I've wanted to pull my car over and lose myself somewhere in it. If I were to run through the middle, I wonder if there would be an opening from where my body broke through, or maybe it would be so impenetrable that my path would disappear right along with me. Maybe it would be both. I'd like to think that I could change the outcome according to how I feel. If my small body could made a difference in something so dense; if it could create a void in the mist, then there would at least be some sort of proof that I'd been there. Maybe someone would see it and wonder. At the same time I would be just as content to not leave any trace of my existence in the fog. It can be comforting to be able to disappear into solitude knowing that you truly are alone.
Until then, bless my restless bones and wandering feet
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